special edition

This is a speech that i gave in front of my juniors, peers, staff and parents on 19th May, at the celebration dinner for the success at NSG. This speech is incredibly personal to me. And just as much as it is personal, it was also incredibly difficult to give. I've decided to share this on my social media because I hope that this would bring comfort and encouragement to at least one person out there. To the person that's reading this, I humbly request that you remain respectful of this piece of my heart that i've decided to share with the world. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

It has been 2,214 days since the end of my very first NSG with Sports School in 2017. Things were very very different back then. 2,214 days ago we were all kids who were completely clueless about what life had in store for us.

But wait…

I guess nothing’s changed. 

2,214 days later, we are all still kids who are completely clueless about what life has in store for us. 

In all seriousness, I guess that this is the beauty of being a student in Sports School… we enter this school as clueless children, but we leave the school as clueless children (just several years older) that now... at least have one another to rely on. 

I just realised that I haven’t formally introduced myself. If you don’t know me, My name is Clydi, I’m 19 this year, I am a final year IB student, a swimmer, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a genZ tiktok addict, a terrible chess player and the list goes on. Just like the running list of titles that form an image of who I am, our relationships, life experiences, habits and quirks all cumulate to form you. So, upon reflecting on the experiences over the past 7 years that have formed the ‘me’ that you see right now, I've decided that the title of my sharing today will be “things I wish I knew at 13 years old”. 

The chapter begins in 2016, Sports School didn’t exactly have the best reputation because of many myths and misconceptions about our programme. However, my dad, being the adventurous risk-taker he is, decided to look into the school as a potential option for his daughter’s education and sporting dreams. And by dreams I mean BIG, MASSIVE DREAMS. And so, after coming to the school for a visit, I looked up at the big blue sky and prayed for a sign if it was the right decision to come here. 

It’s really amazing how doors can be opened. By nothing short of a miracle, I was blessed with a 100 freestyle age group record in March which led to an a scholarship being offered to me a month later. On my birthday. It was truly like the stars aligned for me to come here. This all still means everything to me to this day because it was all these miracles that led to one of the biggest decisions that changed my life forever (coming to SSP). I thought, “this must be the start of something special for me”. 

Well, it was. But not in the way that I envisioned. 

My vision of a golden, sunshine filled, record-breaking sports school journey was quickly shattered by the harsh reality of sports and the relational trouble that comes with being a starry-eyed 13 year old with big dreams and an even bigger ego. 

So I failed. 

In every way imaginable to a young girl that at the very heart things, just wanted to be loved and accepted. Following the success that I had as an aspiring swimmer was 4 years of stagnation, gut wrenching disappointments and broken dreams. Even to this day, I have broken 2 out of 6 personal best times that I set in my first year. 

If I was defined merely by those numbers, I would be a failure. A burnout. Someone that just peaked too early. Maybe in the eyes of those who don’t know me, that’s what I am.

Why tell us all this? Why talk about failures you ‘never’ recovered from? Why even try anymore?

I say this because I believe in stories. We often hear stories of the rich, famous and successful. However, we fail to see the stories that surround us. Our parents, peers, teachers, coaches, staff. 

In all my failures and my questions, time and time again, i look up at the big blue sky and pray for a reason to continue to keep on fighting the good fight. And every single time, I am led to open my eyes and my ears to the stories around me. Sometimes, it’s how I want my story to sound like that pushes me. Sometimes, it’s in hearing someone else's story that motivates me and more often than not, it’s in playing a part in someone else‘s story that adds value to my own life. Every single one of your stories inspire me in ways that may be unknown to you. 

Firstly, to the younger ones, I may not have personally spoken to every one of you, but watching the energy and joy that you guys bring to the pool deck everyday reminds me about what it’s like to just enjoy the sport for what it is. You remind me of what it’s like to live joyfully in the present. 

Secondly, to my friends that train with me, those that I’ve grown up with, those that I live with, being with you guys and witnessing all of your hardwork and dedication every single day pushes me to want to be better as well. Seeing that so many of you are still relentlessly working for those goals despite all that life has thrown at all of you is truly inspiring to see. The joy that all of you bring into my life with the inside jokes, the banter and the support that many of you give in my toughest moments are things that have kept me going for so many years. 

To the coaches and staff that walk this journey with us every single day, the quiet determination and passion, unmatched level of patience and your willingness to spend so much of your life dedicated to a bunch of growing teenagers despite knowing that this is a thankless job are all qualities that inspire me to want to do better and give back in whatever way I can, even though I know that there’s still so much more that all of you do, late nights, overtime and weekends spent that all of us will never know about. And for all of that, I want to say thank you. 

And lastly, for all the parents, it is only at this age that I’ve realised how much courage it must have taken to send your child off to boarding school at 12 years old so that they can pursue their dreams. My dad always says that feels that he missed my growing up years. I know that I will never be able to understand the true magnitude of it until I become a parent myself but it’s the sacrifices that all of you have been willing to make that I think about very often and it has become one of my countless inspirations. 

With the time that all of you have so kindly given me tonight, I share about my journey. But this is not about me. My story is merely a testament of how stories, big or small, can so heavily impact someone’s life. Ever so often, we look for stories of the extraordinary and successful to find inspiration without realising that there are already so many around us. All we have to do is open our eyes and ears. 

This brings me back to the title of my sharing: things I wish I knew at 13 years old. 

I am far from perfect… my flaws and failures are painted out so plainly and clearly. My story is not a success story. It is not one that’s of victory and triumph. But it is a testament of grace. Even with my failings, my imperfections and my brokenness, I have still been so richly blessed by life even though there were times that I didn't deserve it. 

With every story comes different chapters and it seems that for some of us, a new chapter of life has just begun. For others, this year marks the end of a chapter. My most sincere hope is that my story would help someone to believe that grace can be extended to them even in their flaws. I hope that my story can cause someone to look around in a situation that seems hopeless and have, as former US President Obama says,  the "audacity to hope" that things will get better. 

With that, I end my sharing with a question for all of us to think about. 

What kind of story do you want to write with our lives? Thank you all so much for your time.